Yes I can have that!

Ugh.. sorry but I need to vent for a quick minute.

I'm so tired of hearing what I can and can't have to eat in everyone else's opinion.... OR being asked what I CAN eat.

Since it's really simple, I'll make it clear and quick.

I eat WHATEVER I want! I either just have less of it OR I fit it into my meal plan for the day! I've had bday cake three times in one week.. I have chocolate, ice cream, cheese, etc.. all the things people think I 'can't' eat. By being in control of how much of it I eat I am able to enjoy it instead of mindlessly eat it. One of my Sunday  treats is a oz piece of brie with mushrooms in it. Before I made my lifestyle change I would eat the entire block in a day or two... but did I really enjoy it after the first few bites? no. Now I enjoy it and get perfectly satisfied with my oz portion and that works for me.

Today my husband wanted to get ice cream and I said they could get some but I didn't want any. He got annoyed and asked what can I have. I told him I can have it.. but I don't WANT it... big difference!

ok..rant over.. sorry about that

Yay! I'm still going strong!

I am thrilled to say that I think I've figured it out finally. I count my calories.. but eat what I want. If it's too high in calories or fat then I either work out more, or have it another time, or redo it so that its lower in calories.

I'm learning that I can choose healthier options when out and about and have even been subjected to places such as McDonalds, Subway, Five Guys and Fries and even a diner with the typical millions of choices. I've just become much better at choosing something that is better for me. Now don't get me wrong.... I still have big calorie meals ( we threw a taco party this past weekend... i did not avoid anything), i just have them much less or I make sure I hit the gym for a good calorie burning workout beforehand. My sodium levels were thru the roof on Saturday from Taco night... but a good day or two with tons of water cleared that up, lol.

I'm also highly thrilled to say that after an 8 year search I have not only found an eye makeup line that I can wear.. but that I have been wearing it for nearly 2 weeks without ANY irritation! This is HUGE for me. At most I've gotten to 3 days and that was it. In addition this makeup is not waterproof... but does not budge! I even wear it when working out at the gym.

Now everyone is different and I recognize that, so this is wonderful for me, but may still cause a reaction in others. I've tried the most hypoallergenic eye makeup I can find and have had reactions. This makeup is free from a lot of standard ingredients and seems to be perfect. I'm loving it and loving seeing my eyes again in their beautiful accent.

The name of the line I am now wearing? tarte cosmetics 

I am so thrilled and even have the mascara ( which volumizes my lashes unbelievably) on auto ship, lol. The 2 particular products I'm in love with are:

the emphasEYES aqua-gel eyeliner in brown and lights, camera, lashes! natural mascara

oh shoot... after looking up the website and those 2 products I'm doomed.... see many more things I need to put on my want list, lol.

oh! and since I have now gotten back to my usual makeup look and routine.. I needed a new haircut to tame my overgrown mop. Talk about a find for me, lol..... I found a place 5 min from my home... in a little no nothing shop.. and got an amazing cut. I was actually thrilled with it when I left the shop.. and thats rare, lol.

So let's see......

continued path towards better health - check!
new eye makeup to achieve the polished look - check!
new haircut to feel confident and polished as well - check!

looks like my frumpy days are finally heading to the past and I am so happy to feel polished, pretty and confident again! I even bought a sharp new purse today in an eye catching color that is so unlike me. I'll add a pic of it later, lol.

38lbs!!

whooo hoooo.. finally broke thru the plateau that kept me just below a 35lb loss... and now I've up to 38lbs gone!!!

On a roll... to get rid of the rolls!

Another week... and more victories on my journey.

Fitness wise I'm doing great still. My original plan for the gym was 3-4 times a week and I'm so far consistently going 5-6. For the most part I enjoy it. I've been fighting with allergies and had a few days this week that I had to really push myself. However I did go and had great workouts each time. One day my hip was terribly sore and while I was fine standing ( elliptical) .. sitting ( the bike) was bad. Howver I just pedaled very slowly. The plus side was that it stretched my hip out and the issue resolved. Whoo hoo!

I'm also staying consistent with eating much smarter choices and portions. It finally dawned on me that the foods that I usually made due to habit and DH's picky eating.. were foods that should be treats.. not menu staples. We are making slow but steady changes and yet still eating the foods we enjoy. I'm also learning that as long as I exercise (and work those calories off) that I can eat what I want. Currently I am wanting another banana nut smoothie. At the gym they are probably 350-400 calories... I've skimmed my own recipe down to about 250. In order to balance out my day with a second one I am jogging on the rebounder. .... in 5 min increments, lol. If I get 5 sessions done I'm enjoying another shake. If I don't,.. oh well.. there's always tomorrow, and I'll have an apple, lol.

With all the healthier lifestyle changes I've made the weight had started sliding off again. I am currently at my lowest weight since having my son....4 years ago.....but still back at the lowest point... and officially a 35lb loss. I've heard/read some info that says the first 3 weeks at the gym are an adjustment time for your body..and that results start to show ..more so... after that. I'm at 3 weeks and 1 day I think so I'm hoping to really see some great changes in the next few months.

I'm pulling clothes out of the closet that I've not worn in a while and putting them together with better accessories and planning. Heck I'm even wearing my cute black heels (several different pair) at work again.  I don't think I'm ready yet for new clothes.. but then again the $10 jeans I bought just a couple of weeks ago are getting a little dangerous to wear....and I don't have a belt, lol.


I think that's about it for the weekly recap. I'm working hard at making my new healthy choices a routine habit.. and not letting it feel like something I 'have' to do. If I 'have' to do something then it doesn't feel right and I make excuses. I want to be done making excuses...and I believe this time I am.


Hmmmmm.. and would you like to know something interesting? As I've been sitting here and typing this I've been eating an apple. I'm no longer craving the banana nut shake...and I'm putting the rebounder away for today, lol....after all I've already burned about 500 calories at the gym earlier.

Another week - going strong

I had a very good week - even with multiple birthday cakes. I turned 41 this week and had cake last Friday with friends and on Wednesday with my coworkers. The funny part was they both got the exact same cake, lol. Lots of chocolate, lots of cannoli filling, lol

Tuesday I saw my personal trainer ( first ever for me) and it was interesting. We are going light on a lot of upper body things until we see how I do with them. So far I've been fine. My right shoulder has been sore, but basically muscle soreness. I meet with David again on 3/22 and then the fun starts. He said he was really going to push me - yikes!

On Monday and Thursday I took group classes. Monday night was Sh'Bam and oh did we laugh, lol. I was there with my best friend and her sister and my friend almost took us both out several times. It was great, lol. Thursday we did a BodyCombat class and really like that one. I had some shoulder issues at the end, but again so far so good. There are a few more classes I want to take.. but these btoh gave a great first impression. My goal for the gym was to go 3 -4 days a week.. so far I'm going 5-6, lol. Works for me as I just want the weight off and to be healthy and strong.

Oh I have a funny story on the strength aspect. David had me use a machine that looked like a chair with a half back that was tipped forward. You sit on it and work your legs by pushing up and down. He had me use it for calf raises by just moving my ankles up and down. When I met with him Tuesday he had me do it with no weight on it. When I did them yesterday I was being lazy and left the 25lb weights on. It wasn't until 2 hours later when I was emailing my friend that I realized that  2 weights at 25lbs each ... equals 50lbs, lol.

Finally found a new coat as well. The denim jacket I went to look at last week was ok. The jacket only fell to mid hip and I need something that goes full hip still. When my tummy gets much flatter then I will go for a shorter length jacket. The jacket I did end up getting is wonderful. Its a classic black trench coat and I love it. Its such a better style look them the huffalump jacket, lol.

I've been slacking in eye makeup again because I have a new type and the brush got flecks in my eyes. Somehow I lost that brush and remembered that I can use Q-Tips to apply shadow eyeliner and it worked like a charm yesterday (completely forgot this morning)

My weight has flucuated all week and while I am frustrated, I am not giving up. I know chinese food makes me bloat for 4 days or so on average and I had it last Sunday... and Thursday the extra weight from that finally dropped off.. an then I had chinese again Thursday night, lol. I'm hoping to break into the next 10lb range within a week or two.. need to see fresh numbers to stay motivated, lol. I also need to find or buy a new tape measure to start taking measurements as I'm sure thats changing.

Not bad for a weekly recap. Not as much downward progress on the scale, but I'm getting leaner and stronger and I feel fabulous with my new stylish spring coat :)

Working hard.. must be patient, lol

Its been a week since I joined the gym. In that week I've gone 6 days and I'm feeling really good. My endurance increases each day and the painful legs I had last weekend are gone, lol.

I met with a trainer for my assessment on Thursday and it was all around awful.. but not outside what I expected so I was actually fine with it. The trainer was happy with my general answers and attitude though. As long as the weight comes off steadily I'm fine.

However there is a problem. I'm exercising more - so I'm HUNGRY all the time from my increased metabolism - so I'm eating more! Ugh. I'm going back to eating small light meals during the day to account for higher calories at night. This worked so well for me last fall. I'm just having trouble with my night time eating. I need to get that under control or at least binge on the healthy stuff. Last night Joe got me to agree to pizza after I'd already had a ham sandwich.. and I caved and had 2 slices - so the scale is higher this morning. I will admit I finished the last slice of pizza for breakfast and am also having canteloupe.  I am also keeping a food journal since Tuesday that also tracks moods which is good for showing me what i am eating and I am not lying. If i eat it, it goes on there. If I can't be honest with myself then whats the point.

I meet with a personal trainer on Tues for my first official session. My plan right now is to see him every other week. I don't think I can do more financially right now. It's still another positive step in the right direction. I don't have any real time frame goals for specific weight loss except for wanting another 25lbs by  a surprise party for my husband in a few months.

I'm also trying something new for me - I've started a twitter feed for thoughts, updates or hard moments. I can't always blog, and I can't always talk to those around me during the day as we all have other things to do and work on. Twitter I can update throughout the day with various quick thoughts.

Now this is not a blog only about weight loss.. its about loosing that frumpy feeling overall and being the fashionable woman that I CAN be. To that I'll throw other topics in here, but my main issue with being frumpy IS my weight. I've never admitted how much I have to loose... but maybe I need to. Maybe there are other mom's like me out there that have a large amount to loose but think I'm talking about losing less then 50.. and I'm not saying that 50 is low...but to be honest....

I have 125lbs to loose STILL. I've already taken off 32lbs ( well 30 with this mornings scale readout) . As long as I keep my perspective clear and in focus I will do it. I'm thinking that a realistic goal is early to late NEXT summer.

Thats perfectly fine with me. I've said I didn't  want to be the frumpy mom when my son starts school. Well Sept 2012 is the earliest he would start ( due to bday it may not be until 2013) so my goal of being at 150lbs will work just fine.

The good thing is that I don't have to wait until then to improve my fashion and I think I'm going shopping today for a new jacket for spring. I've been wearing my husband's jean jacket this spring so far and I'm realizing I look like a huffalump in it, lol. This is the better fitted, more flattering jacket that I want to buy.. and may just get as a bday gift to me:

Love the fitted cut and design, definitely not a huffalump look, lol


Oh and lastly today I need to share a story about a long standing foot pain problem ( no pun intended). I have plantar fascitis in my left foot. Annoyingly painful and easy  to use as an excuse to not exercise. It was better after last week on the elliptical as using the elliptical stretched out my hips - which is where the true issue is from. My hips are so tight, so the ligaments that go to the foot are tight and cause the issue. Thats a very vague overview, but is my issue.

On Thursday the trainer I met with showed me a machine that helps you stretch. I know I need to do my hips so after my meeting with her I went to use one in the women's gym. Did the left leg first. Not too bad, a little sore and stiff and expected. then I went to do the RIGHT leg.... OMG! my hip is so tight that I had to lift my foot over my knee to do the stretch!! I was glad I was alone as I started laughing over my Duh! moment, lol. If you're not aware of this - the body compensates... so an issue on one side may be coming from the other. It's not always the case, but should always be checked out. I however was NOT paying attention, lol.

I stretched well that day and did a light stretch last night at the gym. My right hip/upper leg were sore yesterday. Not painful, just there - BUT it made me highly aware of how unbalanced my gait was. Now that I'm aware of it I can correct my posture to balance my weight evenly over both feet. I am optimistic that the pain will go away by the end of next week...if I can get my right leg evenly stretched with my left, lol.

Progress, progress, progress!

I am still losing weight, slowly but steady. I am now down to a loss of 32lbs and am hoping for close to 50 by mid may.

had some challenges that started 2.5 weeks after my last post when my husband had a massive heart attack. He's healing remarkably well and may not even need a pacemaker. Thats still to be determined.

To make sure I keep losing the weight I decided to finally join a gym. or rather I shoudl say join a gym again. I had joined one about a year ago. I signed up online and when I went in to pick up my key tag and sign the forms I felt that I had walked into singles night and that the staff was more interested in socializing then helping. Then again it was hard to hear with the music up so high. The plus of that gym was its very low price per month, but you get what you pay for.

The gym I wanted to join is about $50 per month but is huge, has a childcare center inside and has more options. However the $50/month held me back.

Low and behold I started seriously considering it again and doing math in my head. I didn't know that my best friend of ...welll, let's just say a loooong time.... had just joined. Hmmmmm a sign maybe? I went in last friday and adressed my fears.

See I have a very annoying mindset and huge insecurities over being a gym member. I still have more pounds to lose then I'd like to admit. I have an issue where I think I am being judged at the gym and viewed as too fat to be there.

I know, I know.... all in my head.

Well with the help and encouragement of my friend I joined. I did get a better proce though. For a $199 initial fee I then only pay $29.99 per month.. until whenever. It actually saves me over a prepay plan for a year the first year....and the second year and beyond I save even more.


I joined officially on Friday during lunch and started working out that night with my friend. made it much easier with her to joke around with. We also met up at 1:00 on Saturday so 2 days for confidence building. Sadly our work schedules do not match up and I can't work out with her until Fridays. So today I had to go by myself. I did fine ( huge insecurities with me - this took effort to walk in the door today). I walked in, scanned my card, and walked right to the Women's only section as I was not in the mood to watch Conan the Barbarian in the Cardio-cinema.

Thursday I meet with my complimentary session with a trainer... then I will have a better idea of direction.

It may take me another year or two, but I will get myself to where I want to be and to be a great example for JP!